blonde hair and blue eyes everywhere
by tipah
Summary: A couple of years have passed since Dan made the biggest mistake of his life, and he's being reminded about it every single day. past!dan/serena, nate/serena.


'_I don't want us to break up-'_

'_But I want to.'_

'_So that's it? Goodbye, I'll see you in school after summer?'_

'…_Yeah. Yeah, it is.'_

Dan opened his eyes, breathing heavily. He looked down to see his blue sheets and closed his eyes, groaning. He was still in bed. He wasn't in some high-end wedding reception that he wasn't even supposed to be in. He wasn't breaking up with his beautiful girlfriend.

Well, he did, if he had to state actual facts. He broke up with Serena van der Woodsen when she didn't want to, and there was never a day after that when he didn't feel stupid. Everyone wanted to date Serena, and here he was, dumping her. Even Nate Archibald, the guy who was so cool towards Dan in comparison to the rest of Serena's friends, was glaring at him for three straight weeks after that fiasco.

Whenever he sat down and reflected he figured out that the end was inevitable. Somehow something would have gone wrong along the way, and it was much easier to end it then than end it later on when they were too far gone. But of course, there was always that nagging feeling that the break up was a big mistake.

It was difficult not to think about Serena when she was everywhere, all around you – literally. If he looked out of his window now he'd see the huge billboard for her latest movie that was bound to be yet another blockbuster hit. He'd see her beautiful face, her huge navy blue eyes and her long blonde hair and he'd have to restrain from slapping himself. When he walked down the street, she was on the bus, on the buildings, on the bus shelters. When he walked into a café, she was on the free postcards in a corner. When he walked into a cinema, her die-cut was displayed prominently. When he walked past a newsstand she was on half the magazine covers.

Yes, it was impossible to forget Serena van der Woodsen.

It didn't help that after Dartmouth he was back in Brooklyn, looking for a job. He was certain that with a Dartmouth degree he would have had a job even before he graduated, but it had been a month and he'd gone through quite a number of interviews. Helping his dad at the art gallery did not equate to a job. He was never going to get married this way.

He thought of Vanessa, who was in Los Angeles happily snapping photographs. She was now a freelancer, and her projects had been quite promising. Dan had seen a spread she did for Harper's Bazaar, and it was absolutely refreshing. He'd called her, teased her a bit for going mainstream. She'd told him that she had another major project coming up, and she was excited, and then asked about his career, and he was embarrassed to say that he lied to her and told her he was starting his new job next week.

She had congratulated him.

He had sat on the toilet bowl wondering what made him lie to his best friend for half an hour. Jenny wasn't happy, but then again, Jenny was rarely happy these days. Nothing was ever good enough. It was wishful thinking to get her to be tame in boarding school. Serena had told him before about what they did in boarding school. He'd warn his dad, but that man didn't take heed.

Dan got out of his bed and walked out of his room. No point trying to sleep now. There were too many things on his mind. He looked at the cluttered coffee table, and something caught his eye. Jenny had bought Vogue this month, and he saw Serena on the front cover, posing alluringly in a deep burgundy gown. He picked it up, flipping the pages.

Serena's fashion spread was none lesser than ethereal. She posed in the rich backdrop of Victorian-era rooms, in an array of dresses that Dan was certain could feed an African nation.

The photographer, surprise surprise, was Vanessa Abrams.

He put down the magazine immediately. It was frightening how things came full circle.

As he made a cup of coffee, he thought about the previous Tuesday, when he had taken a walk down the Upper East Side. He didn't like that place much, didn't have many good memories of it, but even he had to admit that the scenery there was much better than Brooklyn's. As he walked down the street he couldn't help but remember the doomed relationship that was he and Serena, five years ago. Met steps – they had played a game of extreme soduku to pass the time. The bench at central park – he had set up a romantic getaway there after school. The café at the corner – she had kissed him like he was her lifeline after a date.

It would have been fine for Dan to just remember and reminisce, but it just so happened that Serena van der Woodsen had to emerge from the bridal atelier a couple of stores away.

Dan was pretty certain he stopped breathing for a while.

She was in a grey jersey dress and had a pink cardigan over it, white sandals making noises as she walked. She was on the phone, smiling and stood at the edge of the curb, waiting to flag a taxi, most likely, her long blonde hair flying behind her. Dan stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, like a complete idiot, staring at Serena.

She was from a different world. He was certain of it now. It was impossible that a human could look so beautiful.

Then she turned, and saw him. She blinked, her eyebrows furrowing as she tried to remember who he was. And then she did, and the smile was gone.

Before he could open his mouth to say her name, a car stopped right in front of her, and Nate Archibald came out from the driver's seat, smiling. Serena turned to him and the smile came back as he hugged her.

She got into the car and they drove off. She didn't even look at him throughout the whole time. She was solely focused on Nate.

Dan figured that that was how women treated men that dumped them unceremoniously. He deserved it, surely.

Just like how he deserved her haunting him this way. It was wrong of him to break her heart five years ago. It was wrong of him to say those damned words.

He sleeps and all he sees is her tearful, heartbroken face.

When he's awake he sees her beauty everywhere he goes.

The morning paper slipped through the door with a loud thud, and Dan looked at it. It seemed a bit thicker. And has he been up that long? He'd barely started on his coffee. He walked to the morning paper and picked it up.

The front page had the smiling faces of Serena van der Woodsen and Nathaniel Archibald. 'Wedding of the Year!' the headline screamed. 'Go behind the scenes, plus countdown inside!'

It'd been two years since Serena and Nate started dating, and there was never a day Dan hoped Nate would do the stupid thing he did a long time ago. He knew it was cruel, but it was human nature, anyway.

But it seemed that behind the pretty boy exterior, Nate wasn't that stupid. Nope, Man Bangs was actually smart. He bagged Serena van der Woodsen, and while he'd wake up every morning to her smile, the last thing Dan would see before he awakens is her devastated face.


End file.
